• April Beebe

You Can't Make this Sh!t Up

Updated: Sep 16, 2019


It happens over and over again that as I prepare to teach a class that the very things I’m planning to teach will be up for me in my life. So much so that sometimes it’s almost too on the nose. Like, thank you Universe for that very clear and unsubtle lesson. Case in point:


Many of you know that I had a pretty severe health challenge last year and that I shuttered my practice as a result. Since this spring I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not I’m ready or wanting to reopen. One of the biggest things that was holding me back was the very real fear of not wanting to get burnt out again. Being fresh in recovery from stress-induced fatigue (among other things) makes it very clear that I need to operate my practice differently this time. I need to simplify, let perfectionism go, and stay within my areas of strength. Things in my practice that feed me, aka my strengths: working with clients and developing classes. Check! Things that don’t feed me and actually give me stress and are harmful: all things internet and computer-related. Got it! Let’s do this!


Buuuut. Old habits die hard, amiright? When it came time to actually launch my new online class - Your Awesome Archetypes - last week, all that stuff about staying in my zone of genius (and away from the computer) went out the window. To be fair, I honestly couldn’t imagine how I’d offer an online class without a website. It makes sense! So right out of the gate I was compromising what I knew to be true about my needs in order to make this work thing work because I couldn’t see a way around it. I thought I’d just get the website built and *then* start simplifying, etc.


Nope. What a fucking disaster that was! I spent waaaaayyyyy too much time and energy building a website that I’m only moderately happy with and which only partially works the way I want it to, and not at all mobile devices. It stressed me out to such a degree that I was literally crying at one point.


Fortunately I retained a shred of sanity amidst all of this and decided that I’d paint an example for the archetype deck that we’re going to be making in the class. I didn’t give too much thought to it and decided to paint a card for Miss Goody Two-Shoes, the archetype my perfectionist tendencies take. I also had the good sense to leave the broken website alone for a few days and take a breather. 


Today while I was working more on the curriculum for Your Awesome Archetypes (class development: an area of strength) I took Miss Goody Two-Shoes through the process that we’re going to be using and had a legit breakthrough! In answering a series of prompts I gained a lot of insight:


What does your archetype believe? That there are a set of rules for how the world should be and how people should be and that any deviation from those rules is “not up to snuff.” 

When does your archetype show up? Right now! Just a few days ago with the whole website thing- I realized that was 100% Miss Goody Two-Shoes and her rules about what an online class needs to be successful. 

What’s the underlying fear feeding that belief? This one stung. I saw that beneath all the rules is a fear of not being worthy. That the rules are an attempt to prove worth, but that the standard is impossibly high so there’s never a sense of being good enough.

Who does your archetype get to be when that underlying fear is released? There’s a process of releasing fear that we’ll do and that’s hard to describe succinctly, but after doing it today I felt SO much joy and ease around the entire situation. I actually embodied Miss Goody Two-Shoes as she reverse aged and became this messy artistic child who is full of wonder, creativity, and pure expression.  


So, yeah. Lesson learned! This work is my area of strength and where I’m going to stay put. I can’t wait to share Your Awesome Archetypes with you- it’s such powerful stuff. We’re just doing it without a website. If you want to sign up you can message me and I’ll be sure you’re included. 

Here are the essential details:

Class begins Sept. 23 and is three weeks long

You’ll get three weekly emails with a video and exercises

We’ll also have a live Q&A session each week

Cost is a sliding scale from $99 to $199

Message me to sign up

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